Live from Downtown
Wilma: At least someone is feeling happy today. Maybe too happy. Look, here comes a quiet, jolly-looking fellow. Let's see if he has the Christmas spirit!
Tipsy Man: Yeah, I've got the spirits of Christmas right here. You know how long it's been since somebody gave me a present? It's been... never! That's right, never. Makes me sick. And when I'm sick, I drink. And when I drink, it makes me sicker. And when I get sicker, I get drunker. And when I get drunker it makes me sicker. Know what I mean, buddy?
Wilma: There's nothing that can keep his Christmas spirits down. It seems this city needs a visit from the Spirit of Christmas Past because the Christmas Present seems to have been shoplifted.
Wilma: Here's some interesting looking characters. Hello I'm Wilma W. Wigwhacker of WWWW News. The folks at home would like to know what the joy of Christmas means to you and your friends.
Robber #3: Well ummmmm ...
Wilma: I didn't realize it was that cold out here. Aren't you guys kind of hot wearing face masks?
Robber #3: Well ummmm ... yes... you see my dear, Mr. Wilson asked us to help him out at his company Christmas party. I'm playing the Santa. Ho ho ho. So that's why I'm carrying this bag of gifts. These are my elves. Right guys?
Wilma: Well isn't that great. Playing Santa Claus at a Christmas party. With a bag that size, looks like there will be a lot of kids there. Hmmm, Here's a happy looking family. Sir, could you tell us what you think of this joyous Christmas season.
Dad: Suzy, stop picking at your sister. Huh? Look lady I don't have time to talk to you. Listen everyone, nobody is getting anything until Christmas! Now come along.
Brats: We want to go back to the toy store. TOY STORE! TOY STORE! TOY STORE! TOY STORE! ...
Wilma: Well, let's try just one more time. Excuse me Ma'am! Please tell us how celebrating Christmas...brings you...joy?"
Indignant Woman: How dare you approach me with the idea of celebrating Christmas! That pagan, commercialised excuse for running up credit card bills and worshipping at the false altar of SANTA CLAUS. It's EEEEEEVILLLLLLL! PURE EEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLL! Look at me! I don't participate in this heathen rite and I HAVE THE TRUE... JOY...OF THE...LORD!!! HO, HO, HO!!!
